75 tips for women

75 tips for women

March 31, 2009

Read this a while ago. It’s been lying in my inbox since ages. Finally got to read it.

Worth it! Check it out! Especially for women…

Preventive measures:

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man’s character, leave him alone.
4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
5 Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
6. Don’t force an attraction
7. Slower is better.

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can’t “be friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don’t let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.
11. Don’t settle.
12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship–take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
14. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren’t involved in a whole lot of mess.
16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

17. There’s only one ‘reason’ a man dumps you; he doesn’t want you.
18. Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.
21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn’t call, he just isn’t that interested.
24. Be honest and upfront.
25. Know when to cut the cord, don’t be strung along.
26. Don’t fall for the “I’m confused role”. Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don’t wait for him, move on).
27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).

28. There’s more than physical abuse, there’s emotional and mental abuse.
If he causes any of them…flee.
29. You cannot change a man’s behaviors. Change comes from within.

30. Don’t let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself –double-standard.
31. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or a better job.
32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
33. Demand respect and if he can’t give it, he can’t have you!
34. Don’t compete with other women, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he’s lying, let him go.
36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. Never let a man define who you are.
38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
39. Never borrow someone else’s man.
40. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn’t mean that he won’t hurt you and it doesn’t mean that you are meant to be with him.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom to ‘get it right’ the next time.
43 Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.
44. Love is a verb …
45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
47. All men are NOT dogs.
48. You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is a two way street.
49. If you don’t love self…you can’t love anyone else.
50. You cannot mend someone else’s broken heart.

51. Yo need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute about baggage…deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary…not supplementary.
53. Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

55 Never become your man’s “therapist”.
56. When actions and words conflict- believe the actions. Respond to the actions.
57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work.
58. Don’t fall for the “I’m not the loving type”…when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn’t do for you.

59. Make him miss you sometimes…when a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him, he takes it for granted.
60. Give him his space…let him go out with his boys, don’t pressure him to spend time with you, You can’t force a man to hang out with you.
61. If you wouldn’t allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn’t.
62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
63. Never move into his mother’s house.
64. Provide financially for yourself and don’t depend on anyone.
65. Never co-sign for a man.

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.
67. Never spoil your man let him spoil you.
68. Never let a man mess up your credit.
69. When its time to let go, let go.
70. Good men should be treated like good men.
71. Don’t play games.

72. You can’t make a whore into a housewife - or husband.
73. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.

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Homage to Mothers

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up spit-up laced with hot dogs, birthday cake, and fruit juice saying, "It's OK honey, Mommy's here."

Who have walked around the house all night with their babies when they kept crying and wouldn't stop.

This is for all the mothers who have shown up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who have run carpools and made dozens of cookies for school teas and sewn Halloween costumes.

And all the mothers who haven't because they are at work trying to earn enough to keep on top of the bills.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see.

And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes and all their love.

This is for all the mothers who have sat on cold metal bleachers at hockey, baseball or soccer games instead of watching from their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and meant it.

This is for all the mothers who have yelled at their kids in the grocery store and swatted them in despair when they stomped their feet, like a tired two-year-old does who wants ice cream before dinner, and then hated themselves for "losing" it.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children to explain all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't.

For all the mothers who read Goodnight, Moon twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who taught their sons to cook and sew and their daughters to be brave and strong. (And sink a jump shot.)

This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home or grown up.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just fine once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away. And they do.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, and who can't find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips, sometimes until they bleed, when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.

What makes a good Mother anyway?
Is it patience?
Compassion?
Broad hips?

The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it the heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

Or the terror in your heart at 1 a.m. when your teenager with the new driver's license is an hour late getting home?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 a.m. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

Or to feel the dull ache as you look in on your sleeping daughter or son the night before they leave for a college in another city?

The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

For all the mothers of the victims of all the school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for mothers who have tearfully placed flowers and teddy bears on their children's graves. Whose children have died from illness, accidents and the worst of all and hardest to comprehend, suicides.

This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation.

And mature mothers who have learned and are still learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Grandmothers whose wisdom and love remains a constant for their grown children and their children's children.

Source: http://parenting.ivillage.com/mom/joys/0,,hvkg-5,00.html

Being A Young Woman Today

By Brenda Kageni

In so many ways, today’s young women have it a lot easier compared to past generations. Many of the weights of inequality, discrimination and gender-based violence that pulled down the older woman have been cut off and with the renewed space, we have seen more women come up and turn out as hope beacons and role models in their various fields. We are not lacking in women entrepreneurs, business leaders, political leaders, scholars and civil society activists.
It is great that the young women have broken from the victim mentality that was very evident in the 90’s and are learning to be in control of their own lives. They have more choices and they know it. The limits have been pulled off certain careers or positions or opinions and yeah, the glass ceiling is slowly cracking because a myriad heads have been butting on it. With this too have come the choices to say no and choose an altogether different path from what their mothers would have chosen. Most women today will not stay in an abusive relationship because they know better. Many are actually surprised to hear of the emancipation tales their mothers and grandmothers tell on the battles they fought for them to enjoy the space they now have. But even when the challnges are the same as those of past generations, today’s young woman has a platform, whether social or legal to address some of the challenges. An example is the legislation on sexual offences. There are also many mentorship programs in place that are target them.

With this sort of empowerment, it is not surprising to find more and more women are consciously delaying starting families for career growth. It is perfectly normal to be 30 and without a life partner. Many more are not even keen on the idea of marriage.

Most women under 30’s clearly know what it is they want to accomplish with their lives and when and a lot of times, their order of priority will clash with what would have passed a few years ago. They young women want this job, that earns this much, they want to have this kind of CV, live in this kind of house, drive this kind of car and hang out with this kind of crowd. Career success comes first, then the money, the influence and the various trappings of power.

However with this has come the pressure to be successful. Too much pressure to achieve sooooo much! There is greater pressure for financial independence, further education and vertical career growth, sometimes at whatever cost and creating time for relationships is hard. Because things are a lot easier for this generation, and because of the technological global advancements, the bar has been pushed up there. Competition is global. Standards are global yet the traditional expectations still remain. The role models are there who just increase the inner and outer pressure to outperform oneself and make a name while still maintaining the calm smile despite the stiletto pinch. If there ever has been a time when women were expected to be super women, this has to be it. First degrees and diplomas no longer count and the race is to add to one’s education as a workplace survival tactic. The expectations in the work place however do not come down just because one has to hand in term papers and sit for CATs after a 9-hour working day.

Striking that delicate balance may be the most challenging part for many young women today. Whether to embrace the traditional woman’s role or to adapt to this new high-energy highflying woman in Prada, who has little time for anything or anyone else but herself, is another. The fear at the end of the day is that you could end up as this career big shot who is very lonely, the woman with a beautiful family that’s brought up by the housegirl, or the small time family woman who doesn’t seem ambitious enough to have an 8-8 job weekends included.

The Joys of Motherhood

"Why Do You Love Motherhood?"
We asked. You answered.

Why do you love being a mother? Why do you love your children, of any age or stage?

From Abby
As I read the comments of others mothers I cried. The joy and love I feel being a mother is indescribable at times. I have two children: I am a stepmother to a 19-year old daughter, who has been a part of my life for the last 15 years. I also have a son who is 9 years old.

I have always felt the most important job in the world was to help children grow, discover, love and learn how to live in this world that is both amazing and alarming.

Everyday is an adventure in which I want my children to discover life and how to help one another as well as themselves. I thank God everyday for this opportunity to make a difference in their lives and what a difference they make in mine. We are all teachers and we are all students. As I teach my children to grow up, they teach me how to keep those childlike qualities that make us all alive and free and ready for the next adventure. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to let everyone know how blessed it is to have the role as a mother.

From Leslie
As a fairly new single mom, I love the fact that there is only the truth and what's in front of them. Being a mother forces you to live in the present moment. Learning the true meaning of unconditional love. The mysteries, the surprises. Being greeted when you walk in the door from work every day with such joy and excitement. Being a mother challenges you in every way, it brings you to your edge, it tests your strength, courage and patience. It takes you to your edge and builds strength. It allows to be a child again in moments. It allows you to appreciate the simple things in life. It allows you to laugh more and not take yourself so seriously. Being a mother reminds you of who you are in the eyes of the beholder. It's magical and humbling.

From Susie Glennan:
I love having kids old enough to talk with.
I love it when my son, at age 12, kisses me goodbye even though other kids are there. (This makes me so proud because I know he loves me more than he cares about what others think.)
I love when I'm crying and my 15-year-old comes up behind me and hugs me like I'm the child.
I love when my 10-year-old speaks about something that's on her mind. She's so amazing!
I love when we all sit around together talking about old times, new times, what we want out of life.
I'm amazed when my children come to me with revelations about God and who He is.

I love the teen years, which astound so many. I'm reliving joys, pains, new experiences with my children.
I love when they ask me what I did when... I usually haven't much of an answer because I am never sure what the right thing to do is, but I give my thoughts and they go away thinking. They usually come up with a great solution!

This is why I'm selling my company. Because I realized this past year and a half of owning The Busy Woman's Daily Planner, what matters most. And that's my motto, "Making time for what matters most, God, Family, Friends, Fun!" So now I'm getting back to them, my children.


From D. Schuster, Ohio
I love being a mom because
every time I hear the words, "I wuv you, too," I know they are heart felt.
I have that special time after both of my sons have fallen asleep to sit outside their bedrooms and just listen to them snore.
I know that I am doing a good job when the 3 year old tries to read to the 1-1/2 year old.
I get a chance to fold the little clothes and pick up the toys, even though my heart breaks every time I have to pack something away, or give it away because it no longer fits or "it's a baby toy, mom."
From Alice, creator of "Slices of Sunlight, A Cookbook of Memories"
"Motherhood: What I Love and Have Tragically Learned"
I love the soft faces of my children, their hugs and smiles.
I love the times they question and I can answer and we
are able to discuss on deep levels although they are only 3, 4 and 10 in ages. I love their creativity even though it means a messy kitchen table with strips of cut-outs and glue. I love their discoveries and enthusiasm for learning. I love their generosity. I love when they are able to forgive and forget.
Tragically, all of my 'motherly joy' for being with my three children is clouded these days. It is not the same innocent joy as three years ago. Now it is tinted with an awareness that can only come since the death of a child. In a second's time, I have seen innocence vanish as pain ravishes.
What have I learned since the last time I held my four year-old, Daniel, who died after cancer treatments in 1997? Time is not to be wasted. Today is a day to embrace. I say "I love you" more often. I know there are no guarantees that we will have tomorrow together.

I know now how deep a mother's love for a child is. It is so vast that when a child dies, the hole in a mother's heart is never filled again.


From DeAnna, in Maine
Why do I love being a mom? I don't even know where to begin. First, knowing that my children are healthy, happy, safe, fed, warm, and definitely loved; that they were conceived out of love; seeing my son's eyes light up when Daddy walks in the room; hearing his giggles when he's being tickled; listening to my baby girl's laughter and her mocking cough when I do; her toothless grin; our nightly ritual which Mommy and Daddy each do and our son repeats each sentence, which begins with us saying, "I love you, very much, whole bunchins, lots and lots, sweet dreams, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite, see you in the morning, night night babe." Then we each give kisses, one on each cheek, the nose, and forehead, rub noses and big hugs. It's the little things, which are big things to us that mean the most, like when our son climbs in bed with us to say good morning, an "I love you" just because, hugs and kisses, and knowing that Mommy and Daddy can make the hurt go away just by kissing the boo-boo. Our children are the greatest joy in life, and nothing else in this world compares.

From Joy
I love waking up to a warm-puppy bundle, wiggling over to my side of the bed and hearing her breathlessly whispering "You looked like you needed to snuggle."

I love how the baby has learned to take my face in her little hands and plant a wet kiss on the bridge of my nose.

I love to watch my daughters cuddle under a blanket while the older "reads" to the younger.

I almost didn't have children, thinking that I was too career-oriented to spare the time and dedication. How grateful I am to God for allowing me to change my mind! I can't imagine a day without these beautiful gifts - yes, even when the baby tries to flush my new shoes down the toilet or my oldest daughter chooses a stranger in the grocery store to hear her story about falling in the catbox!

From Shannon of ScrapIts Premade Scrapbook Pages
There are sooo many wonderful things about being a mother, I could not list them all here. But one of the most amazing things about being a mother is seeing my children love each other. My heart swells when I see my eight-year-old son comfort his younger brother when he has fallen off his bike. And one of my youngest daughters first words was her older brother's name. Her eyes light up when she sees him and she says, "K.C.!" with a big grin on her face. That almost makes up for the times that they fight!

From Heide K.
The other day at work - I work at a family daycare - I was playing with a six-month-old baby, while our preschoolers were all napping. The baby was so utterly content and happy, just because he loved playing with my bright red fingernails. He was squealing with delight, batting at my big hands with his little hands, ever so often trying to chew on them. These kind of moments are the most healing kinds for any troubled mind. A baby is the ultimate expression of God! As I am writing this, very early in the morning my 2 1/2 year old son is sleeping on the couch beside me. He is a very rambunctious toddler, but for every temper tantrum he throws, I thank God that my son is so healthy and well-developed. I also have three teenage girls, who present a whole different set of experiences for me. I just cannot imagine life without children, and I feel sorry for people who make the conscious choice to remain childless. They have no idea what they re depriving themselves of!

From Cissy
What I love about my son...
1.) His gum smile.
2.) His eagerness to grow and learn fast.
3.) The way he loves to taste everything, including aerials.
4.) His tiny feet.
5.) His eagerness to try new food.
The list is endless......


From Donna Schwartz Mills
1. Our little rituals -- Like dancing together to the songs on "Dragon Tales," and telling her my little secret each night before she goes to sleep:
"I know, I know. You love me."
"That's right. Isn't that a good secret?"
"But I know that secret!" She sounds exasperated, but she's got that little smile on, so I know she isn't really tired of hearing my secret.

2. If I weren't a mom, I wouldn't know how good the pizza really is at Chuck E Cheese. Nor would I know the joys of the Animaniacs and Hysteria, which are in the tradition of the classics (you know, Bugs, Porky and Daffy).

3. I enjoy puffing up with pride when she translates Korean in her Tae Kwon Do class.

4. Speaking of that white karate uniform, I finally understand why there are so many different varieties of laundry additives in the supermarket and I think now I've used them all...and in a sick kind of way, successfully removing a difficult stain is kind of fun.
5. I love the fact that I can sing her old Beatles songs and show tunes and she actually enjoys it.

6. Our refrigerator is now put to better use as a display of our daughter's artwork.

7. I now amaze my friends and family by my ability to recite the collected works of Dr. Seuss.

8. That empty feeling I used to have when I wondered what I was doing on this earth is now gone. I have my answer and I've never been happier.

Source: http://www.momscape.com/motherhood.htm

Memo, parents: choosing a school is about your child, not you. So, get a life!

http://www.theage.com.au/news/opinion/choosing-schools-is-about-your-child-not-you/2007/07/17/1184559786008.html?page=fullpage

IT'S that time of year when parents begin wringing their sweaty palms about where their kinder child should start school next year. I laughed like a drain when I heard reports of parents at primary school open days with clipboards. I didn't believe it, of course, until a mate told me that several of her mother's group were guilty as charged.

"With clipboards?" "Yes, with clipboards." "To check out a school?" "No, to check out about six schools." At this point I fell off my chair in hysterics. "So tell me, what are these mothers trying to find in a school?" "Well, Dev, they are trying to find the school that is going to turn their child into a genius." BINGO. So if they can't be a genius maybe their kid can be the genius they might have been. Now that sounds like healthy parenting. Why would anyone want their kids to be a genius? I just want my kids to be well rounded, resilient and not in jail. All I hope is that by the time they are 25 they have survived a broken heart, a flat tyre, food poisoning and have a couple of good mates. Bad mother, me.

When our eldest started school I met a woman at the school information night. She listed off eight primary schools that she had already checked out. I said: "We're only seeing this one." By the grave look on her face it was as if the principal was Pol Pot and the teachers were ex-military personnel from Abu Ghraib. I'd love to tell you that I turned to her and said: "Get over yourself." But I didn't. All we wanted was for our son to turn up on the first day of school and know a familiar face from kinder. Because you can't tell if a place is right for your kid simply by wandering around the corridors.

Here's a tip. If you have checked out more that two schools it's probably a good idea to consider getting yourself a life at some stage. If you have a good reason not to send them to the local primary school send them to the next closest. If you feel the difference is between a child who will be a Nobel Prize winner and a child who is a crack-addicted hooker you're wrong.

Here's a message from all of us here at calm down international: "If you are so tragic that you need your kids to go to a certain school to feel better about yourself may I suggest that you take a short course, do some volunteer work or try yoga."

What is best for kids is not the idyllic school environment as perceived by their anxious, hovering parents. Children are better equipped in life by learning persistence and motivation through failure, disappointment and frustration than by some fantasy school created by their parents' inner five-year-old. Kids just want: a place to play chasey, some teachers who know their name and a few mates they can laugh and swap lunches with.

Most kids don't give a rat's about the improvised music workshops, organic gardens and interpretative dance classes they do at school. But the parents, eyes blazing, face alight, will bore people senseless about it in an attempt to convince you of their coolness. All it actually does is convince us that they are Wannabe Creatives; insecure dags who had friends in bands but were never in bands themselves. Too much exposure to organised creativity immunises children against creativity. I can guarantee you that they will never hunger to paint like Monet, read Shakespeare or play cello like Casals because: "Nah. I did that when I was six and I was crap at it. Let's go to the casino!"

As far as holding them back for an extra year; when in doubt hold them back. If kinder has suggested that they can do with another year, hold them back.

If you are thinking that the earlier you get a child into school the more you can stuff into them, hold them back. If these instructions from me are pissing you off because people around you are suggesting that you hold your kid back, hold them back. I do not know of one parent who has held a child back and regretted it, but know dozens of parents who sent them early who do. If your defence is that they'll be bored at home, trust me, kids are always bored at home.

There have been countless studies showing that starting children early may have academic, social and psychological disadvantages, but it's simply common sense to have kids coping as best as possible in the classroom rather than struggling, or worse still, being held back. It's an individual decision and the Government desperately needs to increase funding to kindergartens and establish more preschool programs for four-to-five-year-olds attached to schools to make this decision easier.

Why we need Girlfriends

http://www.newheightslifecoaching.com

I’ve always been a “guy’s girl”. I enjoy watching Sunday football at a sports bar on a crisp Autumn day. I hate gossip and drama. I can laugh at myself and take a good deal of heckling (most of the time… I have my moments). As a result, my group of friends has usually consisted of far more guys than girls. Sure, I’ve had my share of token girlfriends for those critical Saturday nights when I need to know if that skirt goes with those shoes (the boys just don’t have a clue when it comes to that stuff – trust me).

But recently having a great group of girlfriends has become much more important to me than in years past. I’m not sure why…. Maybe I’m just getting older (boys come and go - blah, blah, blah). Maybe I’ve overdosed on men after living in Park City for the last year, where the ratio is 10 guys to every girl. Maybe I just miss having someone around who is as excited about getting a pedicure as I am. I don’t know. But after realizing how rare and precious having really great girlfriends actually is, here’s what I’ve learned to appreciate the most:

1) A great girlfriend is there for you. A really great girlfriend won’t hesitate to bring you magazines, movies and chicken soup when you’re sick. She’ll be the first one knocking at your door with chocolate chip cookie dough and tissues when your boyfriend dumps you. And you’ll always be able to count on her to tell you how kick-ass you look in your new jeans. There’s something special about women where we just naturally feel the need to BE there for each other. You can’t put a price on that kind of loyalty.

2) A great girlfriend can relate to your problems. Whether you’re dealing with the glass ceiling at the office or having to break things off with a needy guy, a girlfriend is going to “get” where you’re coming from. She understands what you’re going through, not because you’re describing it so well, but because she’s been there herself. She knows the nuances of the experiences you’re dealing with. There’s an unspoken understanding among women that you can’t find just anywhere.

3) A great girlfriend understands the value of depth. I love having a beer with my guy friends, but I connect with my girlfriends though our meaningful conversations about life. We talk about our feelings and process our emotions (a man’s greatest fear!). We connect through analyzing our inner selves. We gain wisdom about love, careers, friendships, and spirituality. Talking to my girlfriends gives me an opportunity to reflect on where I am in life and whether I’m on the right track.

4) A great girlfriend actively supports your dreams. A really great girlfriend is your biggest cheerleader. She’ll encourage you to pursue your life goals (Grad school? Travel around the world? Joining the Peace Corp?) She’ll be there for you when you feel like giving up. She’ll help you find the motivation you need to persevere through difficult challenges. She’ll listen as you re-evaluate your life goals. She’ll even hold your hand when you give up on certain dreams (marrying the wrong guy, going to law school because your parents wanted you to). A great girlfriend doesn’t just blindly support you – she is actively engaged and invested in your happiness, and does everything she can to make sure you are following your true path.

I could probably come up with a lot of other reasons why having girlfriends is so important to me these days. But here’s the bottom line: my girlfriends offer genuine acceptance in my life. They never expect me to be anyone other than who I already am. However, they cheer me on as I pursue my personal growth and create an authentic life from one day to the next. And at the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about.